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Behind The Alibi


Forgiveness in Recovery


By Drew Edwards, EdD, MS and  Sean C. Orr, M.D

July 23, 2025



Helping Loved Ones Break Through The Fortress of Denial


“I liked watching movies on DVD where you could  choose an alternative ending to the story. I wish I had that option in real life.” ---Benjamin, 64, lifelong marijuana user


The Alibi System


In stories and films, alternative endings offer a twist—an explanation that rewrites reality. Addiction works much the same way. Deep down, every human being possesses an innate moral compass: an internal sense of what is good, right, and fair. Yet when addiction takes hold, that compass becomes clouded by a powerful psychological defense mechanism we call the alibi system.


Sigmund Freud described something similar in his tripartite model of the mind—where forbidden impulses clash with ethical standards and create inner conflict. For the addicted person, this conflict becomes a constant storm. To cope, they construct elaborate narratives to explain away the damage in their lives: “It’s my boss’s fault I lost the job,” or “Anyone would drink if they went through what I did.”


The alibi system is not simply lying. It is a rigid lattice of rationalizations, distortions, and deletions designed to shield the person from the searing truth: That their own use of intoxicants is driving the wreckage in their life. This system also keeps loved ones on the defensive. Families learn quickly that direct confrontation often leads to manipulation, anger, or withdrawal. Out of fear, they back off, give in, and inadvertently enable the disease to progress. This tragic dance is called codependency, and it can persist even after catastrophic losses.


Recovery often begins when these enabling behaviors stop—when the addict can no longer hide behind alibis and must face consequences. The alibi system is a fortress, but with skilled guidance, it can be dismantled, brick by brick.



The Error Correction Network


The human brain has an extraordinary built-in feature, the error-correction network. This widely distributed group of brain cells detects mistakes, evaluates them, and prompts us to adjust to fix our mistakes. This network includes the anterior insula, the dorsal anterior cingulate cortex (dACC), the pre-supplementary motor area (pre-SMA), and the posterior cingulate cortex (PCC).


In healthy function, these regions work in harmony. The anterior insula quickly flags an error and signals the dACC, which recruits cognitive control to adjust behavior. Other regions, like the parietal cortex and basal ganglia, refine this process by integrating evidence, heightening awareness, and fine-tuning corrections.


In addiction, this system often misfires. Error signals are dampened or misinterpreted. Instead of a clear “stop” when harmful behaviors occur, the network sputters or sends inconsistent feedback. The addicted brain may fail to register that the consequences—lost jobs, fractured relationships, failing health—are linked to substance use. Without accurate internal feedback, destructive cycles deepen.



Anosognosia: Blindness to the Blind Spots


Layered on top of the alibi system and the faulty error-correction network is something even more insidious: anosognosia. This is not just denial. It is a cognitive deficit—a failure of self-awareness so profound that the individual is unaware of their own unawareness.


It’s one thing to have blind spots and know they exist; with that knowledge, you can work around them or seek help. But anosognosia is blindness to those blind spots. The person genuinely does not perceive their impairment, so they believe no problem exists. This is why an individual with severe addiction can look directly at undeniable evidence—a DUI charge, a broken marriage, a pink slip—and sincerely assert, “I’m fine. That’s not because of drinking.”


Anosognosia adds another layer to the fortress. The alibi system creates stories to soften reality, while the error-correction network fails to sound the alarm. Anosognosia then seals the walls by erasing the very notion that there is anything to fix. When these three forces combine, the person isn’t simply deflecting accountability; they’re neurologically insulated from recognizing their own decline.



The Conscience: Where Healing Begins


Yet even beneath these layers, there is still a spark of hope, a place where psychology and biology meet: The conscience. This is the intersection between our moral principles and the brain’s error‑monitoring systems. It is that inner witness that knows, deep down, when something is wrong.


In addiction, the conscience is muffled. The alibi system feeds it false narratives. A broken error-correction network distorts or silences its warnings. Anosognosia blinds the person to the fact that there’s even a problem. But the conscience is rarely gone, it is simply buried under defenses.


When we help someone begin to resolve anosognosia, we are, in essence, helping them reconnect with their conscience. Through gentle but firm confrontation, through structured brain‑health interventions, and through family systems that set boundaries instead of enabling, that inner witness begins to stir. They start to glimpse their own blind spots. They begin to feel the healthy discomfort of recognizing harm done. And in that moment, real growth becomes possible.


Helping People Become Self‑Aware and Ready for Change


When families are desperate to help a loved one struggling with addiction, they often face a heartbreaking paradox: Their instincts to shield, comfort, or cover up harm actually feed the disease. By understanding the interplay of the alibi system, the brain’s error‑correction network, and the phenomenon of anosognosia, we can offer a new path, one grounded in neuroscience and compassion, aimed at reawakening the conscience.


At The Neurogenesis Project, we view addiction not as a moral failing but as a condition rooted in diminished brain health. We work to strengthen those error‑detection and behavioral control networks through evidence‑based therapies, cognitive retraining, nutritional interventions, and—critically—family education. We help loved ones recognize the alibi system for what it is: A defense mechanism, not a personal attack. And we teach them how to communicate in ways that awaken, rather than further suppress, the conscience of their loved one.


For families, this knowledge becomes power. Instead of arguing against a brick wall of excuses, they learn strategies to step out of enabling patterns. They set healthy boundaries, calmly but firmly linking behavior to consequences. They create conditions in which the addicted person’s own conscience can break through the fog of anosognosia.


Self-awareness is the soil where change can finally take root. When the alibi system weakens, the error‑correction network strengthens, blindness to deficits begins to lift, and the conscience reawakens, meaningful change becomes possible. This is not merely about stopping harmful behavior; it is about restoring a person to themselves—and to those who love them. And for families who have suffered alongside them, that shift is often the first real sign of hope.




Takeaways:

1. The “alibi system” isn’t just lying—it’s a complex defense mechanism.
2. Addiction disrupts the brain’s error‑correction network.
3. Anosognosia creates “blindness to the blind spots.”
4. The conscience is the intersection of moral awareness and neural feedback.
5. Families can play a powerful role in reawakening self‑awareness.





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Copyright 2020 The NeuroGenesis Project Inc. All Rights Reserved.

 
 
 

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